Setting the Record Straight

I'm breaking my silence and addressing all of the rumors that have been swirling around since I announced my divorce months ago. A marriage should be between two people,however, since others feel the need to comment on it constantly with false statements I'm setting the record straight.

-There was nothing specific or dramatic that ended my marriage. There were problems for a very long time, things that we swept under the rug to try to keep our family together. What happened? I woke up. I decided my boys deserved to see their mom happy and witness a relationship based on love, not tolerance. If I couldn't give them that example of a marriage, I'd rather wait until I could and focus on becoming the best mother and person I could be in the meantime. 

-My MISCARRIAGE, let me repeat that, MISCARRIAGE (since some apparently know the inner workings of my uterus and said I had an abortion) just added to the problems in my marriage/soon to be divorce when I had no support through the grieving process. I had blame, anger, and shame but no support. 

- I filed for divorce in December, I have been separated since then. You cannot have a divorce finalized when someone is deployed, but we were separated... Back and forth at times. But we have both seen other people during this time. Were there times we contemplated getting back together? Hell yes. I wanted to keep my family together. At the end of the day, and I can only speak for myself, I did not change my behaviors or my mind on what I wanted/want to do in life. I felt trapped in my own life for a long time. There was also too much outside involvement in the marriage since the beginning, and it has continued up until this point. I made the decision to continue with the divorce.

- Have I been dating? Yeah... Is it ultimately my decision if I do? Yes! I'm separated, pending divorce, it's not a crime to date. What's okay for one has to be okay for the other and that's all I'll say about that.

These "friends" I had that decided to turn their back on me, that's okay. But people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. They jumped ship and do and say what they say... I didn't lose anything besides fake relationships in the process, so I think it worked out pretty well. 

Unfortunately, this was a marriage that ended but there are still children involved. I have kept my mouth shut because I didn't think we needed to involve more people during this sensitive time... And it's the father of my child so I never want to bash him. I would never want my children to think poorly of the person I was once married to. I can't control what the other side does, but it was time to get my truth out there... But also stay positive and vague about it. 

Sick Days & Single Moms

It's been discussed before, both in interviews and on Teen Mom 2, that a lot of us on the show had little to no sex education. That being said, it's no surprise that nobody ever talked about what it would be like as a single mother (could apply to military wives too). Let me back track a little... I can only speak for myself when I say that when I found out I was pregnant, though I was completely embarrassed - I thought that I knew everything would be fine and as soon as the baby was born we would have this house of our own with a white picket fence... But the reality is that rarely ever happens for teens. I never thought about what I would do if baby was sick and no one was around... or baby falls asleep in the car and I need to go inside to pay for gas at the gas station... or if.... all the what ifs, the major what ifs that sound crazy to read but actually matter. What young mother who was probably at school or work all day, is already exhausted from life wants to wake up their napping child for 2 mins to run inside to pay for freakin gas? It sounds crazy, but I'm so serious.

Anyhow... 6 years later Javi is deployed so I'm essentially a single mother again. Nobody ever made me think about what I would do if I'm by myself and I have a sick child in the middle of the night. Obviously, as a mother we figure it out. But, even 24 years old I panicked for a minute when Lincoln started throwing up in the middle of the night and I had Isaac sound asleep in the other room. I had pedialyte or gatorade and I can't just pick up and leave to get it. I would if I had to... but you get what I mean. 

I love my kids/being a mom, even when they're sick and I'm playing mom AND dad. I just wanted to keep the message going for the young viewers of Teen Mom 2 that teen pregnancy is no joke... even into your twenties, make sure you're ready and have a plan for tough situations like mine last night - Luckily I have (finally) made some friends (who don't have kids) and didn't mind running out to the store for me so late. 

I think if someone spoke to me about these things, not just the general statistics but actual personal experiences, things would be different. I obviously wouldn't change it now, but I'm hoping to make the next girl think about it a little more. 

Happy Monday! 
An all new Teen Mom 2 airs tonight @ 10 pm EST. on MTV


First Q&A of 2016

Q: Is it ever hard for Isaac and Lincoln to get recognized in public?
A: This doesn't really happen as often as you'd think... or if it does not many people say anything. The occasions it does happen, it really depends on the day. Sometimes Isaac will talk and sometimes both the boys get really shy.

Q: Who are you closest with out of the Teen Mom 2 girls?
A: My girl Chelsea!

Q: Is it true that Jenelle has more mugshots than you?
A: I don't have any mug shots.

Q: Do you ever think about the what ifs about Jo? What if he didn't move on? What if Jo didn't move on? What if you didn't move on?
A: Honestly, I'm good where I'm at. This doesn't ever cross my mind. If it did, I would have to imagine my life without Lincoln... because if Jo and I never split I wouldn't have had him.

Q: Did you use diet pills?
A: No, I never used diet pills.

Q: Do you ever think you'll have short hair?
A: I think about this all the time. I would love a cut like Khloe K's short hair but I don't think it would look as good on me. I would need a glam squad to come style it, lol!!

Q: When does Javi come back?
A: I don't have specifics on that, but we have a few months yet.

Q: Are you close with the camera crew? How do Isaac and Lincoln like filming?
A: I'm close with some of the crew! I get along with everyone though, they're kind of like distant family I didn't meet until I was 17. Haha Isaac and Lincoln have their days where they love to film and show off and then they also have their days where they want nothing to do with it.

Q: What did you struggle with most with your miscarriage?
A: I'm not really sure how to answer this without a huge reply, so I'll let it play out on the show... and maybe do a separate post later on.

Q: When are you coming to Aust?
A: Is this Australia? I would love to go within the next 5 years. I have a friend who lives there and it would be awesome to see her and do all the tourist stuff.

Q: Would you have another baby with Javi or adopt?
A: I think we've had conversations about both. A third baby is a possibility in the future! But for now, I'm happy where I'm at.

Q: Was surgery worth the pain?
A: For me, it was.

Q: Do you think you'll ever try for another baby and does it make you nervous Javi will get deployed again after?
A: I think at some point in the future! But it doesn't make me nervous about him deployment. This is our second time with him being gone 6 months+. It's hard when he leaves but I do get into a routine and I'm good. The hardest part is loneliness... I don't have friends in DE where I can call them last min to grab lunch and have adult conversation like I do back home. Most of my friends here have kids and are busy too. So we will see how everything plays out!

Q: Will there come a time where you and Chelsea may stop doing the show?
A: I think this is always a possibility depending on the circumstances.

Q: Can we be BFFs?
A: LOL! Twitter BFFs!

For now, that's all I have! I'll finish when I get the kids to bed! 

October Festivities

Fall is one of my favorite seasons and October is definitely a fun month. This past weekend, friends came to visit and we went to the pumpkin patch and did hay rides, we picked out pumpkins... and then yesterday we went to the zoo with some friends. Everything sounds great but the whole time I couldn't help but feel guilty for doing these things with Isaac not being part of it all. When I went to pick Isaac up from his dad's on Sunday he asked where Lincoln got his face painted. When Javi told him, he asked if he could go too. It's such a touchy subject for me because I try so hard to explain to him that he has to go to his dad's and he will have so much fun there. But it breaks my heart that he feels like he is missing out. We've tried only planning things when we know Isaac is with us for the weekend but it just never works out. And on the other hand, that's almost unfair to Lincoln. In a perfect world, Jo and I would just constantly trade when we have stuff going on, but again, it's just not realistic. Anyway, that was just my thoughts on this weekend. It was all so much fun but there was a little something on my mind.