I'm breaking my silence and addressing all of the rumors that have been swirling around since I announced my divorce months ago. A marriage should be between two people,however, since others feel the need to comment on it constantly with false statements I'm setting the record straight.
-There was nothing specific or dramatic that ended my marriage. There were problems for a very long time, things that we swept under the rug to try to keep our family together. What happened? I woke up. I decided my boys deserved to see their mom happy and witness a relationship based on love, not tolerance. If I couldn't give them that example of a marriage, I'd rather wait until I could and focus on becoming the best mother and person I could be in the meantime.
-My MISCARRIAGE, let me repeat that, MISCARRIAGE (since some apparently know the inner workings of my uterus and said I had an abortion) just added to the problems in my marriage/soon to be divorce when I had no support through the grieving process. I had blame, anger, and shame but no support.
- I filed for divorce in December, I have been separated since then. You cannot have a divorce finalized when someone is deployed, but we were separated... Back and forth at times. But we have both seen other people during this time. Were there times we contemplated getting back together? Hell yes. I wanted to keep my family together. At the end of the day, and I can only speak for myself, I did not change my behaviors or my mind on what I wanted/want to do in life. I felt trapped in my own life for a long time. There was also too much outside involvement in the marriage since the beginning, and it has continued up until this point. I made the decision to continue with the divorce.
- Have I been dating? Yeah... Is it ultimately my decision if I do? Yes! I'm separated, pending divorce, it's not a crime to date. What's okay for one has to be okay for the other and that's all I'll say about that.
These "friends" I had that decided to turn their back on me, that's okay. But people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. They jumped ship and do and say what they say... I didn't lose anything besides fake relationships in the process, so I think it worked out pretty well.
Unfortunately, this was a marriage that ended but there are still children involved. I have kept my mouth shut because I didn't think we needed to involve more people during this sensitive time... And it's the father of my child so I never want to bash him. I would never want my children to think poorly of the person I was once married to. I can't control what the other side does, but it was time to get my truth out there... But also stay positive and vague about it.